I’m struggling for words. Which is a problem, because I need to write this post.
So, must… find… the… words.
The problem is, I’m literally, stone-cold, bent-over-backwards perplexed by what has happened today. It involved an iPad Pro and another call to Apple.
Regular readers will know I experienced a rather challenging start to the relationship with my lovely, humungous iPad Pro 12.9″. The screen ‘clicked‘, basically. So, I returned it.
However, I didn’t just return it once – I went through three iPad Pros before receiving a fourth that, mercifully, was clicky-free. You’d therefore expect this somewhat frustrating story to end here.
Today, I received that fourth iPad Pro and the scene was set by the somewhat weary-looking UPS man. “You’re not having much luck with iPads, are you, mate?” he said, as he handed over yet another Apple tablet to a guy who either had a questionable habit of needlessly returning expensive gadgets or was, indeed, just very unlucky.
I smiled somewhat uncomfortably and signed the proof of delivery. Rather than enjoying any tangible sense of anticipation, I was simply dreading opening yet another iPad Pro. This one, surely, would still be defective in some way. Maybe it wouldn’t be the screen this time – perhaps the home button would be missing, or maybe it would have Android Jelly Baby (whatever) accidentally installed. Something would be wrong with it.
To my delight, this one was perfect. No unusual clicking and, seemingly, 100% factory correct. Finally – the saga of the forever returning iPad Pro was over.
Excitedly, I restored from backup, re-entered passwords (seriously, how many times does Apple insist on its users doing this?) and attached the smart cover.
Hold on… Having placed the iPad face down on my desk, I’d spotted that something wasn’t quite right. It was wobbling. There was a lack of rigidity.
Clearly, my desk was bent, and that wouldn’t be surprising, given that it was about £5 from Ikea. So, curious, I moved the iPad to a different part of the desk.
With a sense of inevitability building, I picked up the iPad and examined its profile. And there’s no polite way of describing what I discovered: the fucker was fucking bent.
What I did next was something I’ve never done before: I checked I was actually awake. This couldn’t be real, after all. How, after the three previous faulty iPad Pros, could this happen? Surely the law of averages should dictate that my fourth iPad be utterly perfect. Surely?
Clearly not. I was awake, and this new iPad, fresh out of the box, was indeed bent, and quite significantly.
I won’t bore you with the rest of the story, but suffice to say I called Apple and requested a refund. I have utterly lost confidence in the big iPad Pro, which may well be rather unfair given what is surely just a run of incredibly bad luck, but I’m only human and there’s only so much product returning I can stand.
So, tomorrow, I will purchase the 9.7″ iPad Pro. Wish me luck.
Such a shame, too – because the 12.9″ is a damn fine device.